December 30th, 2013 9:27pm
Tumblr posts from 2013
-
December 29th, 2013 12:34pm
-
December 28th, 2013 4:40pm
-
A Hilarious Parody Infomercial for ‘For-Profit Online University’ by Adult Swim
This is supposed to be a joke.
But take it from the idiot who teaches at a college and has been working there since the nineties…
This is far closer to the actual future of academia than you think.
And I welcome it.
Don’t ever get me started.
December 27th, 2013 1:42pm
-
New favourite joke:
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”
December 19th, 2013 6:31pm
-
December 19th, 2013 10:59am
-
The cognitive dissonance of “turned” and “drag” is a cool thing about language.
December 11th, 2013 9:15am
-
December 9th, 2013 8:26am
-
The tale was being told in the barn area this morning of the guy who had been coming to the Kentucky derby for twenty years. Never once in that time does he bring his everloving wife with him. And finally his old lady insists that she accompany him. This is slightly more than somewhat embarrassing to the guy because his everloving might interfere with his drinking. But he orders a mint julep anyway. “Let me taste that,” she says, reaching for the glass with the grass in it.
“Ugh,” she says, making a face. “That is horrible.”
“You said it,” he says bitterly. “And all these years you have been thinking that I have been having fun.”
— http://therail.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/04/30/to-the-swift-arthur-daley-on-churchill-downs/
December 7th, 2013 10:28pm
-
OMG THIS.
Dedicating this post to the word “plethora.”
Chasm… I”ll never live that down…
Most of the words within my vocabulary.
prologue, epilogue, I salute you
Debut AND autonomous 😄
Epitome.
Genre.
Colonel….
“asylum” was mine
cacophony. i still maintain that i was right.
chaos
Coercion
Island (in my defense, it was first grade)
niche. Cherokee.
Segue. Also, half my vocabulary in general.
faux. *flush*
‘Invalid’ in reference to a person. I used to pronounce it like 'invalid’ as in 'not valid’.
Also clandestine (Thanks, Loki, for reminding me last night)
There are a lot more but I forgot
Detritus. (I said “dee-tree-us.”)
Compromise (CAN-promise!)
Funny how most of these words are from french.
40% of the English language is from French
December 7th, 2013 9:42pm
-
How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you?
— Ray Bradbury (via cavum)
December 7th, 2013 9:40pm
-
November 27th, 2013 5:21pm
-
November 23rd, 2013 8:47am
-
November 22nd, 2013 6:04pm
-
David Bowie’s Love is Lost (Hello Steve Reich Mix by James Murphy)
James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem) remixed David Bowie’s Love is Lost in the style of minimal music composer Steve Reich. Here’s the video for it by Barnaby Roper:
The video is NSFW, although most of the NS-ness is of the watching scrambled Cinemax on your uncle’s cable in 1985 variety (aka datamoshing).
November 21st, 2013 6:44pm
-
What’s with the shoes? I don’t know they’ve been there for years. on Flickr.
November 18th, 2013 6:31pm
-
How to get help from a project’s #channel in IRC
Read project release notes
Read project bugs
Find a decent client
Settle on a nick or your real name, whatever
Disable logging
Consider using a terminal that isn’t going to flood channels with join and part messages
Join the channel
If asked, introduce yourself
Idle for a few weeks
Contribute help
If your homework assignment is still due and you can’t figure it out,
November 17th, 2013 9:58am
-
The Vitalist
Jerry’s performance as a comedian is greatly diminished as a result of his humors being out of balance.
Kramer, suffering excesses of his yellow and black biles, takes out his aggressions on an unruly child.
George finds it impossible to decrease the intensity of his animal magnetism, despite a dedicated effort.
Elaine, suffering a strange and intense imbalance of qi, attempts to manipulate the energy flows in her life by violently rearranging the people around her.
Vitalism is so charming.
Also, I tried drafting a Seinfelt plot synopses spun on the core of Queneau’s Exercises in Style–Elaine is on the bus, sees George and Jerry get on, George is being George, Jerry goes and sits down, later Elaine sees Jerry talking to Kramer–after the second or third of this series and, welp, not easy!
November 14th, 2013 7:38pm
-
November 14th, 2013 9:06am
-
Interview: Hacker OPSEC with The Grugq
November 13th, 2013 6:40pm
-
Exercises in Seinfelt
Elaine is taking the bus back across town, again, with arm-loads of Peterman’s dry cleaning. At every stop, she tries to get off, saying “excuse me” from behind all the pressed suits but none of the other passengers can hear her, and, trying not to wrinkle Peterman’s suits, Elaine resigns herself to a spot at the back of the bus until later in the morning when the morning commute rush has died down. She’s crossed town four times so far.
In front of Tom’s Restaurant, George and Jerry get onto Elaine’s bus. George hates public transit and is unwilling to touch anything or anyone but Jerry, who he keeps jostling in clumsy attempts to avoid contacting any other bus passenger, bus seat, or bus rail.
“Germs Jerry! Germs!”
At the next stop, Jerry, increasingly annoyed with George, spots an empty seat and takes it.
Elaine makes no attempt to get their attention because it’s more fun to watch George bouncing from surface to surface in the confined bus, screaming about germs and annoying .
Kramer
November 10th, 2013 5:23pm
-
The clips from NETFORCE were always the best parts of Johnny Long’s leet-or-lame talk, imo.
November 4th, 2013 10:03pm
-
The Morris worm or Internet worm of November 2, 1988 was one of the first computer worms distributed via the Internet. It was written by a student at Cornell University, Robert Tappan Morris, and launched on November 2, 1988 from MIT.
November 4th, 2013 7:04am
-
October 31st, 2013 9:23pm
-
My favorite day in Dolores Park, ever. Went down dressed as Zombie Cold Beer! Cold Water!. For those of you not from San Francisco, “Cold Beer! Cold Water!” is a man who walks around Dolores Park with a cooler bag selling, well, yeah…. cans of PBR (sometimes Simple Times) and water. Here are some photos of him. And while he’s not wearing this outfit in any of those shots, I promise this is pretty damn close to what he wore most days this summer.
I can do a pretty good impression of his call, and he kind of sounds like a zombie anyway, so I went with it. I had my zombie walk on, and set out hollering… over and over and over… “Cold beer! Cold Water!” Some people had no idea what was going on, but most people recognized who I was supposed to be. And THREE different people mistook me for the man himself, all saying something like, “Oh, my god! He dressed up for Halloween!” One man was convinced I stole CBCW’s shirt. Ganja Treats took my photo! I sold twelve beers and four waters (though I gave away like half of them). But where was the OG CBCW?
I got up to leave after a couple hours, carrying my cooler, continuing the zombie walk and yelling his call, when suddenly, I heard him. He was only fifty feet or so away from me. “Cold Beer!” he yelled. “Cold Water!” I responded. People were cracking up, and one woman came running after me demanding I go after him and take a photo. I was on my way out though and having never talked to dude in my life didn’t know if he’d really appreciate my costume and I chickened out. Still, I had a blast.
October 31st, 2013 6:31pm
-
I tried to plot ellipses around groups of points from the same survey site, but ended up with this beautiful stained glass-esque plot. via @algaebarnacle
October 31st, 2013 7:10am
-
October 27th, 2013 6:05pm
-
Cats and their damned colorblindness and their damned apathy. She refuses to chill one level lower. on Flickr.
October 27th, 2013 3:35pm
-
October 27th, 2013 3:18pm
-
Do yourself a favor and watch this.
Russell, shut up and take my money.
LOL at everyone who dismissed this man as a senseless attention whore.
I like to think I’m a smart man. And this man makes me feel very, very stupid.
God I hope people listen.
October 24th, 2013 7:00pm
-
October 22nd, 2013 9:44pm
-
“We’ve added world class simulation glitch detection technology that we think you’re going to love.” on Flickr.
October 20th, 2013 4:11pm
-
N.C.E.
ESTABLISHING SHOT. EARTH FROM SPACE.
North America turns under view. The Earth appears as from orbit, only overlaying the geographic borders are political borders in stark dotted lines, as if they were part of the geography.
EXT. A DESERT VISTA
A tumble weed rolls by followed by two smaller tumbleweeds. A fourth surpasses them.
INT. A DARK BUNKER
The General paces behind a row of analysts in a dark war room the size of an NBA arena, but stylized like the bridge of The Enterprise. You know, from Star Wars.
EXT. A DESERT VISTA
ECU. A SIGN
A military looking sign on a chain-link fence topped with razor wire topped with barbed wire proclaims “NSA – FORT ENTERPRISE”.
INT. A DARK BUNKER.
Analysts at each station operate banks of keyboards. The keyboards are different colors and have differently colored CAPS LOCK LED lights. Each color indicates the language of the workstation each is attached too. The CAPS LOCK LED lights are lit on every keyboard. Arrays of monitors tower over each analyst but The General is tall enough to be seen above them as he paces.
ECU. THE GENERAL
The General: Did you phish them yet?
ECU. ANALYST HANDS, TYPING.
ECU, THE ANALYST NAME BADGE.
The name badge is blank.
Analyst 1: Sir, we’re trying.
ECU. THE GENERAL
The General: I gave you a direct order. Phish them again!
Analyst 2: I am sir. They haven’t clicked anything yet. We need more time!
The General grimaces.
The General: There is no time.
WIDE. THE DARK BUNKER
A third analyst approaches from the far side of the war room. His heels click on the gleaming floor in the silence. Analyst 3 reaches The General.
Analyst 3: Sir, intelligence just in.
The General: What is it lieutenant?
ECU. ANALYST 3.
Analyst 3: Sir, they’ve been warned.
ECU. THE GENERAL.
The General: Warned?
ECU. ANALYST 3.
Analyst 3: Sir, we’ve cracked their signal. The translators say it says “Be Careful about what you click on. And don’t open any attachments.”
ECU. THE GENERAL.
The General: Damn!
ECU. THE GENERAL’S FIST
The General’s fist clenches.
ECU. THE GENERAL
The General: Damn it all to hell!
EXT. A DESERT VISTA.
Sand wisps into the distance.
THE ENDOctober 17th, 2013 7:22am
-
Memento Mori
60 BC - 40 BC
Found in Naples
Emblem mosaic depicting allegorical the transience of life, cd. Memento mori
The mosaic in the second style , formed the ‘ emblem in the floor of the triclinium , and in it we find an allegorical and symbolic, philosophical theme of the Hellenistic origin of the transience of life and death dell’incombere ( “memento mori” ) which, eliminating disparities in social class and wealth, the fate of equilibria. The summit of the composition is a level with his plumb line, a tool that was used by masons to control the leveling in construction. The axis of the lead is death (the skull), under a butterfly (the soul) balanced on a wheel (Fortune). Under the arms of the level, and opposed in perfect balance, are the symbols of poverty on the right (the bag, stick a beggar and cape), and wealth to the left (the scepter, purple and crown). It should be observed in using the wisdom of the artist weave of different colour to provide greater accuracy and characterization of some representations, such as the skull, or the level, where the shades allow you to notice the wooden part of the instrument and the elements of fitting in bronze.
(Source: National Archaeological Museum of Naples)
October 16th, 2013 6:03pm
-
If arachnophobia was treated like introversion
M̲̣̭̖̭͍̤̾̃a͎̰ͫ̀͒ͭͩͣs̮͕̥͓̟̹̫ͤ͛̂̂͑̓͂t͔͇̰̦̝͂e͇̭̘͉ͭͯ͒r̥̣͓͓̞̬̥̓̋̇̔̍ ̤̟̹̝̍͗ͪy̬͙̲̟̺͍ͩ͗ͮ̇ͣọ̳͎̭̖͍̊̐ͩu̖̦̺̹͙̘͖r̩ͧ ̣͕̰͖s͔̪̈́̔ͧp̳̭̟͈̜̽͂́̓ͫͭ̓ỉ̙͖̗̠̗͛d̼̮̟́̋e͕̗͓̊̽̉̉̽r̗ͥ-͉̬̺̞̽̾͑̃f͈̳̼̏̄̉ͤ͂ͬr͈̩̺͙̗͌ͮi̤̳͚ͣ͒ͮg͍̺͉̪̻̻̒ͥ̄ͥh͙̱̻̒ͦ́̅ͬt̻̮͈̖, b̼͇̺̟̜̭̱̈́̈́̎͒͑e̩̪̺͙̱̮͙̩͋ͪ̃̈̒̀͒c̦͖̋ͩo͙̱̝̣̯̜͆̿̒̉̉̽ͭm̞̹͖ͣͣͪȅ̫̙͓̲͓̟̄̾͒ ̖͍̰̗̅ͩ̌̉ͣ̉ͧ̈́̌a̠̬͉ͭ̍ ͎̹ͩ̓͐̀ͦl̬̙͔̈̄̐͗͐̄̏̊ͪë̼͇͉́͒a̭̺̗̖͒̆̂͌͑ͭ́d͈̖̩̰͍̜̿ͩe̫͙̖̤͍̗̘͍ͣͯͫ̈ͅr͈̼͍͕̋ͥ͂̔̑̚ ̜̮̺̯ͭ͂́ͭ͑̀ö̟́̇̈́ͅͅf̣̲̞̲̺̘̮͙ͨ͂͐̓̎̏ ̼̊̌ͪ̀ͭͬ̉ͩ͌ͅt͇̳ͭ̌͗͊̾̚h̲͔̱̭͖̟͈̗̬̐ͦ̾͑ͤ̎e͎͕̟͕̗͙ͯ̃m͕̺̖̭͑͆, a͑͐ͧ͠҉̗͍͈̞ͅñ̴̠̯̤ͬͭ̈̊̒ͬ̚d̸̡̬̠̣͎̤̉͗̉͗̆ ̛̛̺͚̼͉̔̈̈̃̅ͨ̊́s̖̳̟͔͉̺̹͕̪̋̈́̎̅̄̇̽͢p̡̟̓ͦi̢̤͉͓ͪ́͗͛̅̒͂̓ͅn̖̫̾̓ͥ͒ͮͮ͂ͮͧ͞ ̵̙̩̝̳̥̯̙̣ͨ̐̐̉̽͋́̚ỳ̡̘͕̬̣o̷̬̊͗͡ͅͅű̜͖̤̱̹̤̰̲͍r̮̫͇̰̲̺ͦ̀ͬ̍̓͆ͨ͜ ̧̩̗̿͆̓͑̆͑̀͜o̡̻̱̗̯̬̻̮̱ͭ̿̂̉̚͘w̄͛͒̊ͧͨ́͐͏̵͖̻̬̩̼̺ń̶̡̪̞̮̮̯͆͢ ̸͚͕̯͈ͧͩ̓ͪ̏̾ͦͅc̷͔̘̥ͮͤ͑̈́̐͝l̸̡̰̗̙̳̩̯͔̖̉̍̈́ͩͪ̈̓͝o̴̷̥̯͓ͣ̉̍̄́̋́͞t̲͓̖̦͖̻̟̪̽ͩ̾ͮ͢h̥̘̺͂̾̃̀̐e̜̹̲̒̿̾̏ͩͥ̓̿̀͢s͕̜̩͈͇̘͙͙̰ͯͫ͂ͫ͟͜ ̢̝̟̜̞̘͉̓̍ͯ̑͜͡o͓̤ͥ̃̉̅̈ͬ͘u̡̡͔̖̠̩̮̭̓̈́ͣͦ̋ͮ͗ͨt͚̺͕͖͈̜̦ͤ͂̌͊͒̄̌̔̐ ͇̗̯̗̭̼̈͌͛͠o͇̟͈͓͚͍̤͛͗͌̄̏͐̏͞ͅf̠̮̗̲̫͗̂ͮ͋̐̀̀ ̛̩̣͇͖͕̫ͤ͛͞wͧ̃̆ͨ̽͋́҉̬͉̥͍̮̞̯ͅͅe͂͋̋ͧ҉͎̦͓͉͡b̨̗̠̜̝͎̑͊̉ͭ͛̈̅̀͘ ̢̨̺̯̹̜̬͐̐͒ͩ̓̉̚s̭̥ͭ̃ͩ͂ͭi̦͓̭̱̭̜̳̹͐̇ͤ͛͟͡l̐̄ͣ͑ͮ̔̒̚҉̷̫̭͎̞͇̤̤̣̲k͈͎̲͕͒͛̾ͯ̅̉̀ͬ͞ ̛͎ͩ͂ã̬͈͎͔͙̠̇̓t̫̎̆Ş́ͭͭ̃ͫ̇͐̾ͣ̇̋͛̌̑ͧͦͮ̾͏̟̫̙̮̣͍̯͙͉̜͓͔ͅp̐̽͑̆ͪ̍̓ͭ͐̿ͩͬ̓͗҉̵͙̺̻̦͚̫̼͕͉̰̰ī̷̵̢̛̒ͥͥ͊ͬ̔ͯ̃̒ͬͩͮ̍̉̓̊̚҉̟̼̬̞̫͕̱͓̫͔̞̟d̷̵̶̷̤͇̠̲͍͓̞̜̗̫̩̝͚̝͇͊́̆̿͂̐ͥ̾̏̑̽̿ͨ̉ͧ̔ͥ̆ͅe̢̹̖͉̞͚͉̼̳̼̯̭̰̭͎̯̜͍ͫͪ͊̐ͦ̏̆̒͐̌͌ͬͪ͌́͠r̵̵̸̶͓̜̟͕̮͍̤̺̋̓ͥ͑̉ͫ̽̍̐̑̏̓ͥ̎̈́ͅm̶̫͍̦͎̞̭͎̮͇̦͚̗̩̲̔͑̌ͣ̀̊ͦͧͩͥ̉ͤ͑̀́͜͜ͅa̶̯̤͎̲͈̔ͥ͒̃̊̈́͡s͆͐͗̂ͫ̈ͣͣ͆ͪ̉ͮ̍ͬ̇̊ͥ͊̚҉̺͔̭̲͉̯͙̦̠̺̝͘͢ͅt̵ͩͥ̑ͭ̋ͤ̓ͭ̓̆̌̚͞҉͏̦͇̩̹̩̀ę̊̆̈́ͮ̒̑̊͐͐̍̍́͐҉̧̡̭̠̭̭̰̗̩̳͈̼ͅṛ̵̷͕̥̪ͩ͌͊ͤͤ͋̃ͩ̾ͬ͐̈ͬ́s̵̓ͬ͗ͫ̓͑́̓ͦ͊̀̅ͫ́ͯ҉̟͉̗̯̬͓̩ ̶͎̱̰͚̟̫̯̫ͪ̀̏̂ͮ̓̃̏ͣͨ̃̀̀͡Į̱̳̺̯̮̞̟̩̖̣̂͑ͯ̒̏ͮͤ̒͆ͥ͐͟ͅņ̴̴̛̬̱̘̘̯̗̼͈̫͚͔̺̩̻ͯ͑ͨ͂͂̍͌͒ͪ͛̀t̑̔ͩ͐̊ͦ̚҉̺̫̬̠̻̯͕̞̻͉͈̱eͦͭ͊́͑̋ͬͫ͆̇͒ͭ͐͑ͪ̏ͬ͊̚͏̷̢̩͚̹̘͔̜̥́ṙ̬͙̙̲ͯ̿̐̚͘͟ͅn̡̋͋̇̔̀̅ͩ̽́̔̌̏̑̏͏̵̨̢̹̠͕̙͍̪͉̯̻̙̤͓̞͔͖ͅą̵̸̹̱͙͕̦̘̻̻͉͚̣̜̦͕̊̾̑ͥ́ͨ͂ͩ̊ͯ̒ͦ̉̈̑͒̚t̷̡̩̪̙͎̺̝̞͕̭͈̜̩͓͕ͩ͌̌ͤ̀͊̍ͣ͐͗̀̕iͯͨ̃͛͛̾͊ͤͪ͋̍҉̛̻̫̝̗̹̩̹̤̞̙̖́͜͢ơ̧̡̨̗̠̖͇̮͉̬̙̜̟̹̻̹̬̊̏ͦ͋͐ͬ͆ͧͬ̄̆̃̀̚n̢̢͇̗̳͎̤̘̰̗͓̪̠̤̰͊ͯ̿̋͌͟͢͞ͅẫ̸̡̺̝̬̗̩̱̫̪̳̗̞̈̌ͣ͑̀͘͞ͅlͨ̀̓̐̽͊ͪ̄ͦ͐̌͆͂ͫ҉̸͇̬̞͈̬̭̠̳̜͎̣͕̖̤̀ͅ.̖͈̱̺̮̻̹͋̌̎̊̌̃̀͘͠͠
October 8th, 2013 8:59am
-
October 6th, 2013 4:35pm
-
Popehat’s Journal of the Great Shutdown: Day Three
October 3rd, 2013 8:46am
-
I’m really enjoying BeerAlchemy. If you’re on a Mac and not using software to help track your brewing process, you should give it a try. I’ve got both the iOS and Mac apps, and they don’t sync yet, but I expect they will soonish and I’m looking forward to it. It’s tempting to go back and record the previous 25 or so batches from my paper notes but I just wasn’t tracking enough data points to make them useful.
Interestingly, and sadly, none of my last four batches, while all tasty enough, have finished under 7P. Fermentation temperature is the toughest home brewing challenge to tackle.
October 1st, 2013 10:13pm
-
Kid Koala’s ‘Music For After Work: Space Radio Play Micromix’
October 1st, 2013 9:45pm
-
Death Downwind from a Nuclear Blast
October 1st, 2013 2:59pm
-
September 27th, 2013 4:32pm
-
As my friend George Oppen once said to me about getting old: what a strange thing to happen to a little boy.
—
Paul Auster (via nevver)
I liked the bits about the machine and the madhouse too.
September 27th, 2013 10:22am
-
Untitled from Grant Stavely on Vimeo.
September 25th, 2013 12:12am
-
My new $35 graphical spectrum analyzer just arrived from China. Pretty neato! on Flickr.
September 24th, 2013 9:54am
-
September 22nd, 2013 2:55pm
-
September 21st, 2013 10:17am
-
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE THINGS EVER
original here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOFy8QkNWWs
September 15th, 2013 7:33pm
-
Do you think the engineer responsible for these can sleep at night? on Flickr.
September 15th, 2013 11:54am
-
September 14th, 2013 10:06am
-
This is where I think my celebration of imperfection and democracy allows me an escape because I’m using the time I’m saving with my safe to actually write the text with which to criticize solutions like my safe! So that’s how I get out of it philosophically.
— Evgeny Morozov, in a Public Books interview, responding to Natasha Dow Schüll questioning how the time-locked safe he locks his internet devices in fits with his philosophy.
September 11th, 2013 7:15am
-
All of you lurkers out there: IRC is a pain-free, obligation-free way of losing lurker status and bellying up to the Bandwidth Bar. ☯92JUL
September 7th, 2013 11:36am
-
The entire YOU ARE HERE thing is excellent and very important to my coping with art and stuff.
Also David Frost just died.
September 1st, 2013 11:43pm
-
Fake unicorn puke. Gross out your friends! http://flic.kr/u/2mJ1Jd/aHsjHU66E4
September 1st, 2013 4:00pm
-
Daffy from Grant Stavely on Vimeo.
September 1st, 2013 3:55pm
-
Radio?
September 1st, 2013 10:49am
-
White vinegar, Chinook IPA, Hetch Hetchy, and bleach. I have no idea what I am doing. on Flickr.
August 31st, 2013 1:30pm
-
Weird Browsers
My 1995 self would be very interested to find that that my browser no longer has a stop button, or any other navigation buttons. And that it uses a weird form of MDI, like tabs in an application’s preferences.
My 1995 self would probably be pretty confused that I consider my bookmarks menu to be a vestigial feature that hasn’t been cleared of the software’s defaults or populated with any categorized reference material. And that a download manager is built in, and not shameful browser side-ware. And that, still, nobody cares about anything similar to VRML.
My 1995 self would probably not understand at all that my browser has a default deny policy for all plugins and javascript. And that it hides comments on any page from other “netizens” besides the author. And that it has a huge button that hides all the pictures and videos and ads and style and just shows the text in a suck.com style readable format. And that it has two export buttons that save the text off-web somewhere because things on the web disappear or are hard to find. And that I don’t hide ads because I understand that adults need to be paid for their work.
August 30th, 2013 7:04pm
-
القنبلة الخط العربي
First القنبلة الخط العربي came for the ycombinators,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a ycombinator.Then القنبلة الخط العربي came for the iOS6-havers,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a iOS6 haver.Then القنبلة الخط العربي came for the IRC topics,
and I didn’t speak out because I was a weechat user.Then القنبلة الخط العربي came for me when I tried to put (╯° °）╯︵ in front of القنبلة الخط العربي in the topic to make it even funnier,
and there was no terminal left to speak for me.August 30th, 2013 9:22am
-
August 28th, 2013 10:53pm
-
Seinfelt: The Postmodernist Mumbo-Jumbo
August 27th, 2013 5:03pm
-
August 25th, 2013 12:01pm
-
Unpitchable: I Am an Omniscient 18-Year-Old Boy
August 23rd, 2013 6:55am
-
Take a spin, now you’re in with the techno set!
You’re goin’ surfin’ on the Internet!Here’s some fresh hell from 1997 - the “Kids Guide to the Internet”
pan pipes
In 1997, “don’t go to whitehouse.com” was something an adult gave top priority in a script because there was pornography on the internet.
Also: the kids without the net at home are wearing prison stripes.
Also-also: the lit lamp is casting a shadow on the wall right next to it.
August 20th, 2013 7:59pm
-
250 pairs of little “Watch Them Wiggle Eyes” just arrived, where should I start? on Flickr.
August 16th, 2013 1:18pm
-
http://blog.historyofphonephreaking.org
Very fascinating. How could someone not have wanted to take this stuff apart and figure out how it works?
http://ascii.textfiles.com/archives/4006
August 13th, 2013 9:22pm
-
Hi! Welcome to Extraordinary Sandwiches! My name is FUH-Q, how can I help you today? on Flickr.
August 2nd, 2013 12:06pm
-
☎ ring ☎ ring ☎ ring ☎ pickup—“A&A Roofing.” “…” “Rolling what?” “…” “Trolling? Nah, ROOFING. You gotta roof?” “…” “What?” “…” “Tarps? Yeah, we got tarps.” “…” “…” “…” “I see.” “…” “…”
July 29th, 2013 8:53pm
-
“Photoshop Cs5 Filters Animation” is a small tribute to Photoshop filters. We used the Ps logo and systematically applied the filters in the same way, seeking the essence of the software, exploring the aesthetic values of its resources but letting the spectator judge them.
The project is comprised of two parts:
A tumblr page photoshopcs5filtersanimation.tumblr.com , where all the effects live together at the same time as animated gif, representing all the steps from the original Ps logo to the final output.
And a video showing every filter one after each other, with a custom sound design that uses the same sound for each filter but with a different distortion effect for every case, exporting the graphical concept to the sound.
In both parts, the order of appearance is the same that offers photoshop.
July 29th, 2013 9:16am
-
How to have an awesome day.
- Open Safari.
- Customize Safari’s toolbar and add the Add to Dashboard clipper:
- Go look at Brent Rambo.
- Click the button, click on Brent, and click the purple “Add” button:
- Place Brent on your Dashboard:
Revisit Brent as needed throughout the day.
July 29th, 2013 9:06am
-
July 15th, 2013 10:45pm
-
A single, two-minute tracking shot from Kill Bill Vol. 1.
Story goes:
The infamous long take scene took 6 hours to rehearse and was shot in 17 takes. After that, Steadicam operator Larry McConkey was rumored to have passed out in exhaustion.
July 15th, 2013 10:41pm
-
July 7th, 2013 3:34pm
-
July 7th, 2013 1:34pm
-
July 6th, 2013 11:25pm
-
Xterm Inception
or, How to Use Xterm Mice and Colors in Fish Through iTerm2 Over Mosh (over ssh) in Tmux on Remote Vim and Weechat Terminals.
Inception levels
Configuring it all
-
Configure iTerm2 to report itself as an xterm-256color and enable mouse control codes.
-
Ensure your shell’s $TERM recognizes it. You shouldn’t have to force this with any shell init junk.
-
Execute this perl one liner to print the XTerm control sequences to “Use Cell Motion Mouse Tracking” (1002) and “Enable UTF-8 Mouse Mode” (1005). Consider wrapping mosh in something that does this for you.
perl -E ' print "\e[?1005h\e[?1002h" ' -
mosh to the remote host.
-
Configure remote tmux to support mice. Add the following to ~/.tmux.conf
set -g default-terminal "screen-256color" # use 256 colors set -g status-utf8 on # enable utf-8 set -g mode-mouse on -
Configure vim to follow suit. Add the following to your ~/.vimrc
set mouse=a set ttymouse=xterm2 -
Configure weechat to do the same in ~/.weechat/weechat.conf.
mouse = on
A Weird olde tip
Hold option to use your mouse on your local terminal instead of the remote one.
July 3rd, 2013 9:11am
-
-
For Its Latest Beer, a Craft Brewer Chooses an Unlikely Pairing - Archaeology
June 27th, 2013 7:38pm
-
June 26th, 2013 9:25pm
-
Yelping with Cormac: Dolores Park
June 26th, 2013 8:59pm
-
“Over the course of a year, I researched and created ZXX, a disruptive typeface which takes its name from the Library of Congress’ listing of three-letter codes denoting which language a book is written in. Code “ZXX” is used when there is: “No linguistic content; Not applicable.” The project started with a genuine question: How can we conceal our fundamental thoughts from artificial intelligences and those who deploy them? I decided to create a typeface that would be unreadable by text scanning software (whether used by a government agency or a lone hacker) — misdirecting information or sometimes not giving any at all. It can be applied to huge amounts of data, or to personal correspondence. I drew six different cuts (Sans, Bold, Camo, False, Noise and Xed) to generate endless permutations, each font designed to thwart machine intelligences in a different way. I offered the typeface as a free download in hopes that as many people as possible would use it.”
Making Democracy Legible: A Defiant Typeface — The Gradient — Walker Art Center
June 24th, 2013 10:57pm
-
In case you did not know, the amazing Ms. Emily Heller plays Nicole Winters in CODEFELLAS by David Rees and Brian Spinks.
I play the voice of the animated body of Lewis Lapham.
That is all.
June 22nd, 2013 10:27am
-
Do you speak French?No. Wait, what?Do you want to get lunch?Oh. Yes. on Flickr.
June 21st, 2013 11:00am
-
Quiet Time Mix Vol 1, by Kid Koala
June 19th, 2013 10:51pm
-
It’s important to bear in mind I’m being called a traitor by men like former Vice President Dick Cheney. This is a man who gave us the warrantless wiretapping scheme as a kind of atrocity warm-up on the way to deceitfully engineering a conflict that has killed over 4,400 and maimed nearly 32,000 Americans, as well as leaving over 100,000 Iraqis dead. Being called a traitor by Dick Cheney is the highest honor you can give an American, and the more panicked talk we hear from people like him, Feinstein, and King, the better off we all are. If they had taught a class on how to be the kind of citizen Dick Cheney worries about, I would have finished high school.
— Edward Snowden (via jimray)
June 17th, 2013 9:21pm
-
Sous vide meme. on Flickr.
Philip Daigle as a slab of applewood smoked center cut bacon, blackberry floating nearby.
June 8th, 2013 11:28am
-
Ripped from the pages of Dan Brown’s reality
Renowned executive assistant director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation Michael Mason staggered through the vaulted archway of the Verizon Grand Headquarters. He lunged for the nearest telephone tap and trace provision he could see, section 214 of the USA PATRIOT ACT. Grabbing the gilded legislation, the seventy-six-year-old man heaved the laws toward himself until they piled off the desk and Mason collapsed backward in a heap beneath the pages.
June 6th, 2013 8:56am
-
The Final Ultimate Solution to the Spam Problem
Your idea advocates a
(x) technical ( ) legislative ( ) market-based ( ) vigilante approach to fighting spam. Your idea will not work. Here is why it won't work. (One or more of the following may apply to your particular idea, and it may have other flaws which used to vary from state to state before a bad federal law was passed.) ( ) Spammers can easily use it to harvest email addresses ( ) Mailing lists and other legitimate email uses would be affected ( ) No one will be able to find the guy or collect the money (x) It is defenseless against brute force attacks ( ) It will stop spam for two weeks and then we'll be stuck with it ( ) Users of email will not put up with it ( ) Microsoft will not put up with it ( ) The police will not put up with it (x) Requires too much cooperation from spammers (x) Requires immediate total cooperation from everybody at once (x) Many email users cannot afford to lose business or alienate potential employers ( ) Spammers don't care about invalid addresses in their lists ( ) Anyone could anonymously destroy anyone else's career or business Specifically, your plan fails to account for ( ) Laws expressly prohibiting it ( ) Lack of centrally controlling authority for email (x) Open relays in foreign countries ( ) Ease of searching tiny alphanumeric address space of all email addresses ( ) Asshats ( ) Jurisdictional problems ( ) Unpopularity of weird new taxes ( ) Public reluctance to accept weird new forms of money (x) Huge existing software investment in SMTP ( ) Susceptibility of protocols other than SMTP to attack ( ) Willingness of users to install OS patches received by email (x) Armies of worm riddled broadband-connected Windows boxes ( ) Eternal arms race involved in all filtering approaches ( ) Extreme profitability of spam ( ) Joe jobs and/or identity theft ( ) Technically illiterate politicians ( ) Extreme stupidity on the part of people who do business with spammers (x) Dishonesty on the part of spammers themselves (x) Bandwidth costs that are unaffected by client filtering ( ) Outlook and the following philosophical objections may also apply: ( ) Ideas similar to yours are easy to come up with, yet none have ever been shown practical ( ) Any scheme based on opt-out is unacceptable ( ) SMTP headers should not be the subject of legislation ( ) Blacklists suck ( ) Whitelists suck ( ) We should be able to talk about Viagra without being censored ( ) Countermeasures should not involve wire fraud or credit card fraud ( ) Countermeasures should not involve sabotage of public networks (x) Countermeasures must work if phased in gradually ( ) Sending email should be free ( ) Why should we have to trust you and your servers? ( ) Incompatiblity with open source or open source licenses ( ) Feel-good measures do nothing to solve the problem ( ) Temporary/one-time email addresses are cumbersome ( ) I don't want the government reading my email ( ) Killing them that way is not slow and painful enough Furthermore, this is what I think about you: (x) Sorry dude, but I don't think it would work. ( ) This is a stupid idea, and you're a stupid person for suggesting it. ( ) Nice try, assh0le! I'm going to find out where you live and burn your house down!—Anonymous Coward
June 5th, 2013 8:17am
-
Whatever you now find weird, ugly, uncomfortable and nasty about a new medium will surely become its signature. CD distortion, the jitteriness of digital video, the crap sound of 8-bit - all of these will be cherished and emulated as soon as they can be avoided. It’s the sound of failure: so much modern art is the sound of things going out of control, of a medium pushing to its limits and breaking apart. The distorted guitar sound is the sound of something too loud for the medium supposed to carry it. The blues singer with the cracked voice is the sound of an emotional cry too powerful for the throat that releases it. The excitement of grainy film, of bleached-out black and white, is the excitement of witnessing events too momentous for the medium assigned to record them.
— Brian Eno, A Year With Swollen Appendices (via volumexii)
June 2nd, 2013 11:28pm
-
Hops died so that we may imbibe. 1 Imperial India Pale Ale 60:30:15:10:5:0 on Flickr.
June 1st, 2013 5:47pm
-
Poynton Regenerated, English Village Revives Town Center by Removing Traffic Signals
May 31st, 2013 10:38pm
-
well that was unexpected
how rude.
Well
oh
oops
May 31st, 2013 8:43am
-
CYBER CLERKS
Another CUSTOMER leans in.
CUSTOMER: Are you open?
DANTE: (rolls his eyes) Yes.
RANDAL: You know what? I don’t think I care for you rationale.
DANTE: It’s going to have to do for now, considering that it’s my laptop that’s up for request. (to CUSTOMER) Can I help you?
CUSTOMER: Pack of cigarettes.
RANDAL: What’s your point?
DANTE: My point is that you’re a clerk, paid to do a job. You can’t just do anything you want while you’re working.
CUSTOMER: (reading a security blog) “The next threat to the cloud and what CISSPs are doing about it; Cyber security funding up.” (to DANTE and RANDAL) They hype any kind of buzzwords in these things.
DANTE: They certainly do. Two fifty-five.
RANDAL: So your argument is that title dictates behavior?
DANTE: What?
RANDAL: The reasons you won’t let me borrow your laptop is because I have a title and a job description, and I’m supposed to follow it, right?
DANTE: Exactly.
CUSTOMER: (interjecting) I saw one, one time online, that said Chinese APT had hacked american defense contractors. Then in the next week’s post, they said the NSA was hiring security defenders but only to man Einstein consoles. APT? Cloud? What does that shit even mean?
RANDAL: (eyes the CUSTOMER, annoyed) So I’m no more responsible for my own decisions while I’m here at work than, say, the Death Squad soldiers in Bosnia?
DANTE: That’s stretching it. You’re not being asked to slay children or anything.
RANDAL: Not yet.
RANDAL: (sips water)
CUSTOMER: (again with the interjections) And I remember this one time at DEFCON this Fed was giving a talk about…
RANDAL spits a mist of water at the customer, drenching him. The man reacts violently, attempting to grab RANDAL from over the counter. RANDAL makes no move, but remains untouched. DANTE plays block.
CUSTOMER: I’M GONNA DOX YOUR FUCKING ASS! YOU FUCKING LAMER!
DANTE: Sir! Sir, I’m sorry! He didn’t mean it! He was trying to get me.
CUSTOMER: Well, he missed!
DANTE: I know. I’m sorry. Let me refund your cigarette money, and we’ll call it even.
CUSTOMER: (considerably calmer; takes money) This is the last time I ever come here. (to RANDAL) And if I ever see you again, I’m gonna rm your fucking shit!
The CUSTOMER leaves, wiping water from his face. RANDAL salutes him.
DANTE: (angrily) What the fuck did you do that for?
RANDAL: Two reasons: one, I hate when the people can’t shut up about the jargon that people in the military use.
DANTE: Jesus!
RANDAL: And two, to make a point: title does not dictate behavior.May 31st, 2013 8:14am
-
“A salaried adult’s modal dialog about data loss.”, shit on Android, artist unknown. 2010. on Flickr.
May 26th, 2013 6:05pm
-
The everloving wife threw last weekend’s perfectly fine leftover brats out. Never again! on Flickr.
May 18th, 2013 1:28pm
-
kottke.org: Mat Honan visits Google Island
May 18th, 2013 11:38am
-
New favorite sketch show.
Peter Serafinowicz is brilliant
May 18th, 2013 11:18am
-
We’re looking at Wayne Thiebaud’s iconic Three Machines in today’s Conversations with Colin.
This painting is currently on view in Wilsey Court!
Easily my favorite work in the De Young.
Favorite.
May 9th, 2013 9:11pm
-
Fiber to the curb soon, and a new thing for folks in the Mission to use as a toilet. Thanks AT&T! on Flickr.
May 6th, 2013 7:18pm
-
You can take Jimmy outta the circus unicycle troupe but you can’t take the circus outta Jimmy. on Flickr.
May 2nd, 2013 12:27pm
-
The Fridge
why shoudnt you go to the fridge without permition
because it will come for its revenge
May 2nd, 2013 12:04am
-
April 27th, 2013 3:46pm
-
Rotoscopes From Disney Animated Films Superimposed With Their Real-Life Models
April 27th, 2013 12:27am
-
April 23rd, 2013 7:04pm
-
SEATTLE RUINED MY UMBRELLA STOP IT IS RAINING UNDER MY UMBRELLA STOP on Flickr.
April 19th, 2013 5:51pm
-
Yesterday I was feeling a bit sketch in the top gondola of the Great Wheel way down there. on Flickr.
April 19th, 2013 3:47pm
-
Whoever tagged my IRC handle on the side of this panel truck forgot the “L”. on Flickr.
April 16th, 2013 8:45am
-
Coffee Maker
INT. TYRELL CORPORATION LOCKER ROOM - DAY
THE EYE
It’s magnified and deeply revealed. Flecks of green and yellow in a field of milky blue. Icy filaments surround the undulating center.
The eye is brown in a tiny screen. On the metallic surface below, the words VOIGHT-KAMPFF are finely etched. There’s a touch-light panel across the top and on the side of the screen, a dial that registers fluctuations of the iris.
The instrument is no bigger than a music box and sits on a table between two men. The man talking is big, looks like an over-stuffed kid. “LEON” it says on his breast pocket. He’s dressed in a warehouseman’s uniform and his pudgy hands are folded expectantly in his lap. Despite the obvious heat, he looks very cool. The man facing him is lean, hollow cheeked and dressed in gray. Detached and efficient, he looks like a cop or an accountant. His name is HOLDEN and he’s all business, except for the sweat on his face. The room is large and humid. Rows of salvaged junk are stacked neatly against the walls. Two large fans whir above their heads.
LEON: Okay if I talk?
Holden doesn’t answer. He’s centering Leon’s eye on the machine.
LEON: I kinda get nervous when I take tests.
HOLDEN: Don’t move.
LEON: Sorry.
He tries not to move but finally his lips can’t help a sheepish smile.
LEON: Already had I.Q. test this year – but I don’t think I never had a…
HOLDEN: (cutting in) Reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention. Answer quickly as you can.
Leon compresses his lips and nods his big head eagerly. Holden’s voice is cold, geared to intimidate and evoke response.
HOLDEN: You’re in an office, walking along in the kitchen when all of a sudden you look down and see a…
LEON: What one? It was a timid interruption, hardly audible.
HOLDEN: What?
LEON: What office?
HOLDEN: Doesn’t make any difference what office – it’s completely hypothetical.
LEON: But how come I’d be there?
HOLDEN: Maybe you’re fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself – who knows. So you look down and see a carafe. It’s steaming…
LEON: A carafe. What’s that?
HOLDEN: Know what a coffee pot is?
LEON: Of course.
HOLDEN: Same thing.
LEON: I never seen a coffee pot.
He sees Holden’s patience is wearing thin.
LEON: But I understand what you mean.
HOLDEN: You reach down and pour the last cup out of the carafe, Leon.
Keeping an eye on his subject, Holden notes the dials in the Voight-Kampff. One of the needles quivers slightly.
LEON: You make these questions, Mr. Holden, or they write 'em down for you?
Disregarding the question, Holden continues, picking up the pace.
HOLDEN: The carafe is empty, there are fresh grounds right next to it, and an industrial coffee maker. But it can’t make itself. Not without your help. But you’re not helping.
Leon’s upper lip is quivering.
LEON: Whatcha mean, I’m not helping?
HOLDEN: I mean you’re not helping! Why is that, Leon?
Leon looks shocked, surprised. But the needles in the computer barely move. Holden goes for the inside of his coat. But big Leon is faster. His LASER BURNS a hole the size of a nickel through Holden’s stomach. Unlike a bullet, a laser causes no impact. It goes through Holden’s spine and comes out his back, clean as a whistle. Like a rag doll he falls back off the bench from the waist up. By the time he hits the floor, big slow Leon is already walking away. But he stops, turns and with a little smile of satisfaction, FIRES at the machine on the table. There’s a flash and a puff of smoke. The Voight-Kampff is hit dead center, crippled but not destroyed; as Leon walks out of the room, one of its lights begins to blink, faint but steady.April 9th, 2013 10:37am
-
Find a separating hyperplane with this One Weird Kernel Trick
April 7th, 2013 11:03am
-
Ducklips
Teenage Narcissist: You got a like, buddy?
Michael J. “Daffy” Duck: Yeah, sure kid.
Teenage Narcissist: [poses with ducklips] And a comment!
Sue Charlton: [guardedly] Daffy, give her a comment.
Michael J. “Daffy” Duck: [amused] What for?
Sue Charlton: [cautiously] She’s making ducklips.
Michael J. “Daffy” Duck: [chuckles] That’s not ducklips.
[poses with ducklips]
Michael J. “Daffy” Duck: THAT’s ducklips.
[Daffy unlikes the teenage narcissist’s post and maintains eyeball to eyeball stare]
Teenage Narcissist: Shit!
[she and her friends run off]
Michael J. “Daffy” Duck: [to Sue] Just kids having fun. You all right?
Sue Charlton: [relieved] I’m always all right when I’m with you, Daffy.April 7th, 2013 10:18am
-
No filter required. This IIPA is clear enough out of secondary to read through. on Flickr.
April 6th, 2013 3:38pm
-
March 30th, 2013 3:42pm
-
March 30th, 2013 12:18pm
-
“Landed on earth, no where to go… a hole in my megaboomp (hehehe)”
March 29th, 2013 2:19pm
-
SANS What Actually Affects Change in InfoSec Summit 2013
- Exception Requests: Saying No
- Bumping tickets, e-mailing, and nagging for fun and profit
- Exploiting MBAs and JDs
- Burn Out Bourbons, Gins, and Tequilas
- How I learned to stop worrying and love the meeting
- Finding Ordinality is Dead
- Using Consultants as Puppets 101
- Not being a perfectionist asshole
- Crying wolf is deprecated
March 26th, 2013 11:20am
-
daily reminder that ponies never grow up into horses, they’re different animals
March 23rd, 2013 2:38pm
-
A thing some of your peers actually believe could happen
“Understaffed startup attributes shipping on time releases and steady feature improvements without death-marches, attrition, an FTC injunction, a data breach, or revenue impact to weeks spent implementing:
- an HSM.
- a certificate authority tied to the HSM.
- transport encryption (correctly).
- browser based bcrypt(scrypt(PBKDF2())) password storage.
- a honeynet.
- data classification, retention, and encryption.
- CAPTCHAs.
- secondary questions.
- out of band credential reset via e-mail and SMS.
- authentication rate limiting.
- two factor authentication.
- the latest browser-supported frame-busting, XSS, and CSRF mitigating security controls.
- a custom security library.
- vulnerability management.
- administrative roll based access.
- proper logging.
- log monitoring.
- fraud monitoring.
- BGP peering DDoS appliances.
- a web application firewall.
- an intrusion detection system.
- Sender Policy Framework.
- A separate top level domain for every system.
- developer training in:application security, security architecture, cryptography, ecrime, computer and network forensics, and incident response.
- security through obscurity (no NOT security through obscurity!) ((what does that even mean?)) (((well it rhymes!)))
- a vulnerability disclosure bounty program.
- an FTC injunction.
- a SOX, HIPPA, PCI-DSS compliance program.
- server file integrity monitoring.
- and the free pizza lunches the founders provided daily.
March 4th, 2013 9:32am
-
Two Fish
there was two fish in a tank and one of the fish said
do you know how to drive this thing
BECAUSE THE FISH ARE DRIVEING THE TANK IN A WARMarch 2nd, 2013 9:27am
-
Welp it says I gotta by the end of the day or else, so I guess I gotta. on Flickr.
February 27th, 2013 12:10pm
-
Old-timey hand crafted artisinal snake oil! It pumps! It dumps! on Flickr.
February 26th, 2013 11:10am
-
Free Talk Titles
“How To Get Compliant Fast And Stay Compliant With This Weird Old Tip From A Single Mom”
“Skinning Cats: My Way or You Are a Dumb and Horrible Person.”
“Seventeen Slides Of ISO 27002 Ideas And Last Years Meme Image Macros”
“The Smart Grid Killed My Parents For Fun And Profit”
“Free ”
February 23rd, 2013 11:37am
-
If they stopped saying APT and Cyber and started using your lingo
Hi US-ites!
We had an offsite last week to review how we can provide the best products, services, and solutions to meet the needs of our customers in 2013, and I’m pretty excited to say: we’re totally gonna kill it!
Our first goal: Triple our innovation metrics to disrupt the competition.
Measures of success: Team! Be at scrum by 10!”
February 18th, 2013 10:13pm
-
Proper glasswear for con-flu chlorophrenamine maleate bubbly. Con-flu deserves it. You deserve it. on Flickr.
February 18th, 2013 12:06pm
-
Well, actually…
Luke: [the engineer unit blows its top] Uncle Owen!
Uncle Owen: [looks up from paying the Recruiter] Yeah?
Luke: This Engineering unit has a bad “Well, actually…” motivator. Look.
Uncle Owen: [to the Recruiter] Hey, what are you trying to push on us?February 5th, 2013 8:48am
-
Check out Kraftwerk LIVE (no, really, live, not just remixed) in the 70s and 80s over at Dangerous Minds.
January 31st, 2013 8:52am
-
CYBER PAINT ▰ Advertisement for Cyber Studio/Cyber Paint, STart Magazine ☯88SEP
CYBER!
January 28th, 2013 8:56pm
-
January 27th, 2013 7:34pm
-
Davi Ottenheimer on Authenticity
January 22nd, 2013 10:55am
-
Heroku - current status and incident report
January 21st, 2013 11:07pm
-
Drunck
why did the stupid drunck idiot dance in the middle of the motorway.
well he was drunck what did you expect the reason was. I mean thats what drunck people do when there drunk isnt it
January 20th, 2013 3:02pm
-
On Modules and Gems and Similar Works
A family walks into a talent agency. It’s a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, “We have a really amazing act. You should represent us.”
“Sorry, I don’t represent family acts. They’re a little too cute.”
The mother steps forward.
“Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
"OK. OK. I’ll take a look.”
First, I come out and pick a guy from the audience and ask him to pick a scripting language. It doesn’t matter what language he picks, we can do the act in Perl, Python, Ruby, R, you name it. We blindfold the guy and put him in an isolation chamber on stage so that he isn’t in the know on the middle of the act.
Then I go out and hold back the standard library in that language by weeding out anyone that hopes to improve it and distracting them with more interesting work. Meanwhile, my wife begins work on a much improved alternative and cutely named alternative to the problematic standard library.
So then, when she’s done, my son publishes her new library in the standard package manager using the cute name, but here’s the thing: he changes the name used to import it subtly. Say we call the library doubleagent in the package manager but to use it in a script, you have to import or use or require or whatever agentagent.
Then my daughter starts cranking out useful scripts that use the library. But she assigns the documentation to our dog! He never writes it!
This is where I come back in: I SEO a buncha ads for these great scripts with no documentation and don’t mention the module’s package managed name.
Then we go get the guy we picked from the audience and we take the blindfold off and we ask him to try to write a script that will almost definitely need our new libraries, only we give him a fresh server build to write it on so if he wants ‘em, he has to set up his environment first.
It’s all going ok until the guy decides to use our library (they always do, trust me). The guy doesn’t know agentagent doesn’t exist in the package manager because it’s really doubleagent but all the SEO articles I write act like everyone already knows this because I google dork for anyone that mentions it offhand and DMCA them into taking it down.
The act wraps with the guy from the audience having to search Stack Exchange type sites and waste 5 minutes of the entire theater’s life to find that agentagent is doubleagent. Once he figures this out, he files it away as language-lore and we forbid him from publishing anything about it.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, “That’s a hell of an act. What do you call it?”
And the father says, “The Aristocrats!”
January 16th, 2013 9:47am
-
January 12th, 2013 12:47pm
