Mastodon posts from 2018

1. accidentally’d the whole thing on a botched firmware damned-jumper-pin-and-everything roll back maneuver and because I have a shred of self respect I’m just gonna take the drives and memory out and then throw the entire thing in the trash rather than chase fixing it

2. We asked everyone to stick to books for gifts for the kid, so Mom went and found a copy of the book I was obsessed with when I was learning to read but haven’t seen in 35 years and just looking at the cover I’m all hell yeah fish! https://mastodon.social/media/brXlxFnigDLluZHfuDY https://mastodon.social/media/nnMxUwikiwAlQyi_QMo

   

   

3. sunday night feels when you realize that it is in fact sunday night https://mastodon.social/media/fIEcrbJuCRnEYvThKh0

   

4. using an unread-message indicator (bold text, red dots, stuff like that) for growth hacking is violence to the constitution, slack

   

5. the ribbon haver has logged on

   

6. This garage door, the entire time it is going up, and the entire time it is going down: REEEEEE!

   Everyone at the coffee shop next to it: REEEEEE!

   Me, the everloving wife, and the adoring baby in our apartment across the street: REEEEEE!

   Ten to fifteen minutes later: REEEEEE!

7. celebrate the discourse even when your screen is locked imo

   

8. “Neocombat Neoliberalism”

9. puke the valley

   

10. ​

11. cused image

    

12. paternity leave is canceled

    

13. Choose Your Own Adventure

    You got a nice big head of garlic on the cutting board. You’ve mastered Jacques Pépin’s method of how to chop garlic and cracked that head open with one perfectly placed push on the board.

    To fuck with peeling the little tiny cloves in the center, turn to page 64.

    To not fuck with those little tiny cloves and just compost them immediately, turn to page 12.

    [turns to page 64]: You dolt. You have done died.

14. Dad’s burdens I’ve shouldered over paternity leave:

    ✅ Repaired the screen in the kitchen window.

    ✅ Moved stuff around in the garage

    ✅ Made a new pair of jorts

    ❌ Relived 90s rock

15. Every get out the vote take flabbergasted that young people in America don’t see the point is victim blaming.

16. Invisible Baby

    

17. ​

    

18. Ah, the ol’ Landlord’s “Do you have a minute?” snipe hunt. Love that our living situation is at the mercy of a rent seeker, it is good as hell.

    

19. Well now that Sears is daed, I guess here’s a thread all about how I single handedly saved the famed “Wish Book” Christmas catalog when I worked there in Accounts Payables (2/2004-5/2004) from the phony dunces who mixed Marvel and DC onesies as if that was OK. 1/1890

20. “Wow this guy doesn’t give a FUCK. And he has a beard already!” – An eleven year old who is still getting the hang of things, also proud boys (lol, I will never ever ever title case that), apparently?

21. JACK: Marc I want to ADDRESS this issue.

    [BENIOFF nods]

    You KNOW I am sensitive to the Homeless

    BENIOFF: Absolutely

    JACK: BUT!

22. Does the cat follow the sun or the sun follow the cat?

    

23. Kill Mother Fucking Diode Motes

    

24. The Boy has found The Sun.

    

    

25. Stealthily but still tooting somehow about removing all the favs I handed out from all the “congratulations!” replies I got about being a Dad now that I have a better idea what it means and who my friends really are pause not, it’s still great.

    Should I go back to work next week or nah?

26. [The year is +7.203C (in 3152 CE, years are tracked by temperature rise since the revolution.)]

    NeoStatistician: Great Scott! The youth of NeoMerika don’t vote!

    NeoJournalist: Great Scott! Here’s a thought experiment for the upists; what if we trolled them about it?

27. liberal norms gatekeeping is (un)democratic centralism, lol

28. Recreating the LinkedIn account I deleted 2015-10-31 (spoopy!) with zero professional repercussions for the sole purpose of providing nearly every recruiter specific things their executive teams need to do better before I’ll even talk to them.

29. If the chats yer in don’t automatically invite punners (upon community tagging) into an invite only channel that they can use to act out on their deranged urges out of sight of the rest of us, find chats that do.

    

30. I haven’t had more than two hours of sleep at a time in a week and I am absolutely hollering at electeds on the hell site.

31. wishing all the leftists I follow would publish their notes that they keep checking

32. As a society, we need to bring back giving people the old hot foot. I’m talking about strike anywhere matches stuck in boots and then lit with more matches, all while breaking the fourth wall, chuckling quietly behind a hand and making shh-ing it’s-our-little-secret-for-now motions, causing our victims to hoot and holler and jump up and down holding the hot foot.

33. ​

    

    

34. We just used https://www.fairhotel.org/hotels-search?location%5Borigin%5D=san+francisco&location%5Bdistance%5D=20&location%5Bunit%5D=3959 to find family hotels to stay in when they are in town to help w/ the baby. Good stuff!

35. “You need to install a keybox.”

    Me, two weeks ago: My landlord is finally gonna lose a fight to an absolute hero.

    Me yesterday: Honey, let’s head to the post office to get our god damned mail.

    

    

    

36. How is the cat liking the new roomie sitch? A captive pette-the-catte squad that smells like milk and knows all its favorite scritches and pats forms up every two to three hours day and night and doesn’t troll to the point of needing to be bit or scratched anymore. The cat is living mas.

37. the first time I got a boss to double my comp at the same job—an exempt computer job with an artificially low base entry-level comp, not like, a real job job normal people can easily get—in less than a year by making hell of demands, I immediately repeated the same trick again on principle, and was on the way to repeating it a third time furious about it when I quit that job

38. my catte did head butt the bebe this morning, but for now, maximum nope zone

    

    

39. an infinity of DC city councils dead on an infinity of sofas simultaneously standing and looking back at the DC city councils on the sofas behind them, holding smoking guns, and chanting together, “why would the DC city councils do this? why would the DC city councils do this? w–

40. Last night the everloving wife goes to make some tea, so she opens the kitchen cabinet and there, along with all the other tea and coffee cups, she sees a full cup of coffee.

    Apparently, Zombie Gravely likes his full cups off coffee snuggled with the empty cups, for safe keeping, in order to “protect them from the cat” and it is now the talk of the entire peninsula for this peculiar behavior.

41. We’ve discharged.

42. been a dad for a day so far and it slaps, 100% ready to join dad secret societies and take it really seriously and everything

43. I’m walking through the convention center and see a big slice of a wall I’ve never seen before and I say to everyone, “that’s the Berlin Wall.”

44. tfw the corporate campus art is unexpected and kinda heavy

    

    

    

    

45. tired: MAC address randomization

    wired: GPS location randomization

46. Mentioned my preferred pronouns in a new hire training introducing myself as a facilitator out of DSA habit, mentioned them on principle in a company all hands talk I gave, realized I could do better, added ‘em to my default email signature.

47. wtb iPython notebook for scraping San Francisco Socrata API data to, for example, resolve addresses to base addresses to supervisor districts.

48. Dropped a full cup of hot coffee on the kitchen tile floor and it didn’t even chip the mug. My personal Keyser Söze limps free another day.

    

    

49. tfw the lit matches the kit

    

50. ​

    

51. lammo that VC shitlord supreme, Tim Draper, now has a full page spread dedicated to his stupid, failed ballot prop to split California into three states, right in the official state voter guide.

    

52. TDAP and blood draw test to see if I need MMR and Chickenpox boosters done. I did not look and it was OK.

    

53. lol, kinda mad how good Seven 7. Sevenson is of an antisec style handle tbh

    

    

54. :birdsite: wtb a hell site cross poster that posts screenshots of my toots with markov generated dunks on them instead of truncating my toots over there

55. lmao at the time when the people in IT had swag cynically commemorating the claim from a VP who was phoning it in while also doing a masters degree on the side that there would be “showers of gold come IPO time” by printing google translated latin on under the hood which reversed google translated to GOLDEN SHOWER and were instantly banned by c-staff.

    

56. Ext. WASHINGTON, D.C. - DAY

    ELMO swings his feet under a bench and cocks his head from side to side.

    ELMO

    Boss makes a dollar I make a dime, that’s why I poop on company time!

    (beat)

    JAMES O’KEEFE

    Pooping! At the State Department!? Why, I never!

57. Dan Brown would’ve written it as “Codename Veritas, which renowned classics professor Rip Steakface knew meant truth to the Romans” but otherwise it’d be identical to our world: absurdly dumb.

58. tagging myself and 9 of my big media pals into a beef in order to win at online cause I’m too busy rn

59. also favs should be called boops

60. Set my phone background to a picture of a red flag so that I can use my locked phone as a little red flag when I need one.

    

    

61. There’s grease on the bike lane on Folsom inbound between 6th and 7th street, don’t wreck!

62. If we start a spoopy halloween avatar gimmick this early it’ll flare out before October but I’m too excited by my tweaked Joan Cornellá BootyBoop to wait.

    Boost if you know that candy corn is good actually, fav if you don’t.

    

63. Further reduction applied, this can be seen as rejection of the authentic and a demand for the inauthentic.

    Authenticity is the a flimsy analysis, stick to fundamentals.

64. A theme I’m piecing together from yesterday is that capital has so successfully co-opted exploitative versions of grass roots organizing tactics that grass roots organizers are decried as exploiters for even broaching them as useful tactics on legitimate grounds.

65. ​

    

    

66. The Women’s Building perspective of the primary San Francisco tour photography corner stop at the building, at 18th and Lapidge. “This is the Women’s Building.”

    

67. RiBMo? Yeah I RiBMo, Riker a Betazoid More!

    

    

68. This window over The Boy’s litter box is doing the work: constantly yelling at people having coffee at Linea Caffe.

    

69. Me managing a crisis at work: Calm in the eye of the storm, always three steps ahead, fail often and enjoy learning from failure.

    Me doing handiwork: Non-stop stream of curses, always injuring myself, doing it backwards twice first, lost, furious. Oh, hey, it works.

70. Somehow this worked on the first try even though I hated it the entire time. Months of no left channel: canceled. Knowing how to fix stuff is a curse.

    

    

    

71. 

72. SF is hiring a Senior Technical Project Manager to lead the open source voting project: The salary is $163K / year.

    https://jobapscloud.com/SF/sup/BulPreview.asp?R1=TEX&R2=5504&R3=088534

73. Nice!

    

74. That scene in Clerks where the customer with a LinkedIn account complains about LinkedIn the company, and stuff people post on LinkedIn, and recruiters using LinkedIn to pester them ad nauseum until finally Randall spits coffee in their face and deletes their account at the store.

75. Not so exclusive after all eh Carlos?

    

76. Lit drop remix!

    

77. Oh smurf smurf it, I’m smurfing.

    

78. Precisely one.

    

79. “The Management”, the organization the distributes paper toilet seat covers globally, is actually a fallen faction of Gideons International.

80. http://www.kalw.org/post/your-call-election-special-proposition-10-debate-future-rent-control-california

    The California Apartment Association in this interview deploys some insanely trifling arguments but, bonus: Shanti Singh from Tenants Together smashes 'em with help from Noah Arroyo. Worth a listen!

81. Challenge coins! Gatekeeping that fits in your pocket!

82. Furious the conference rooms at work have carpeted floors that I can’t easily super glue the challenge coins people give me to.

83. s/war room/wa room/g

    

84. Enjoying myself by the… politico piece (wtf?) about socialism in the US when I remembered instances of… basic gumption in my life.

    https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/09/03/what-would-a-socialist-america-look-like-219626

    

85. tfw you’re ciced for the rice

    

    

86. Pirate Ship Sutro bringing the Castro lit drops for Yes on C and Yes on 10.

    

    

    

    

87. Justice ain’t gonna voiceline

    

    

88. 19th st looking good as hell as the evening fog devours San Francisco tonight.

    

89. The morning after people from Manhattan party on yer office roof deck

    

90. The building behind ours built their fence playing The Incident: plywood, wire shelf racks, corrugated galvanized steel, a road sign, wire grates, particle board, chicken wire, dead vines, etc.

    

    

91. Méthode Alkanoise

    

92. Meritocracy, in both the original and new definitions of the word, is absolutely accountability-phobic

93. The cheese wanter has logged on.

94. The Upside Down

    

    

    

    

95. [brushing my hands off] eh, this’ll probably work itself out, whatever it is

    

96. Get some asiatic lilies and star jasmine into your life if you are able, but hide the lilies up on a bookshelf from your cat, they are poisonous.

    

    

97. birthing class

    

98. tfw you see someone ship a blacklist of the POC to fix their untrusted string meta programming RCE, twice on the same feature

    

99. extremely online, the book https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1724941682/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1724941682&linkCode=as2&tag=dril0c-20&linkId=ee23336aaae3b442e3ea71e8a9664dd7

    

100. IFTTT keeping it real as hell.

     

101. Meat Beat Manifesto Vs. Terry Riley - ‘In C’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5QMqKGZa10

102. Shout out to the beer distributor finally getting these six packs onto the shelves at The Duc Loi.

     

103. Comrade Water Cooler keeping it safe en route to DSA SF’s first chapter meeting in The Women’s Building.

     

104. Follow everyone: OK

     And boost their toots: OK

     Don’t worry, relax, and have a dip in the TL. Don’t try to read absolutely every toot by everyone you follow: No.

     👍 “Endpoint for last read toot #7418” Issue: https://github.com/tootsuite/mastodon/issues/7418

105. lofi chill beats X hip hop study X waluigi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM4J971Pv8s

106. v=DMARC1; p=reject; pct=100; aspf=s; adkim=s; rua=mailto:re+qh4p7hbb2d1@dmarc.postmarkapp.com; ruf=dmarc-ruf@dsasf.org; sp=none;

107. Bird site style brand cloud-screaming-at: Fruit, please use some of that spare trillion offshore U.S.D. to sprinkle the do-not-disturb settings on entire app folders and app accounts, I want to set work email to be M-F, core hours only.

108. The mods are asleep, quick, disable all app notifications and unread badges and bleeps and bloops. Silence your ringer and your doorbell.

     Post, post, post.

109. Cute arm crossing.

     

110. ​

     

111. lol they didn’t even buy a .org https://socialistcall.com I am absolutely not reading anything that makes the danged scrollbar this tiny

112. toots and the boostals

113. I just renewed the https://dsasf.org domain for another year. We’ve also got https://dsasf.com, what should we do with it?

114. Drive through worker new best friend mixed up our 2x4 order for a 4x2 and after correcting that we ended up with 2x6s. I guess this is my new go to order now.

     

115. "Delete & re-draft"ing toots on this website only encourages me to make things worse.

116. In-N-Out punning in their cease and desist letter to a brewery for calling a beer “In-N-Out Stout” is lawful evil: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bmb80oZnKfQ/

117. I’m sorry once you live here long enough you should know to say the correct name, “YIMBY Socialists”, not just “YIMBY.”

     http://www.sfexaminer.com/endorse-prop-10-no-sf-yimby-faces-soul-defining-choice/

118. A YIMBY member arguing against Prop 10, which simply unblocks rent control in the state, but doesn’t establish any, said “We give a voice to people who are not even here yet.” Repealing Costa Hawkins in favor of rent control, he argued, would help people already here at the expense of those to come.

     He continued “…one time someone who was already here gave me hell me for calling it 'Frisco, so, like, fuck all of 'em, right?”

119. Reporting to the Hall of Justice for my sins after lunch tomorrow with my comrades in jury duty group #622.

120. existential dread approaches

     

     

121. WTB Slack compatible emotes for all the traffic light protocol levels, will share if I end up making my own. I’m picturing bold Helvetica “TLP” net to a stoplight w/ the appropriate light blinking.

122. 100% of the other people in our birthing class and new parent class in San Francisco are over 30, and probably over 35.

123. It turns out there are lots of, maybe a majority of (yikes), people who are “lol sportsball” about solidarity.

124. I stayed close to one pair of dudes because they were clearly watching the rest of us as if we were non-player characters and I was on a security team. At one point when we were blocking traffic, and cars were honking their horns in solidarity with us, and lots of us raised our fists in support, one turned to the other, “look at them getting excited by car horns like that’s gonna do anything.”

125. The streamers and passive cynics among us at A5 in Berkeley last weekend weirded me the heck out in an uncanny valley way.

126. Paying down my Le Guin debt on “The Dispossessed” in Dolores Park.

     

     

     

127. Hot August!

     

128. https://twitter.com/fogcityrose/status/1027609245280161792 The SF Chamber of Commerce is a puddle of leeches.

129. Dorf Freidorconor send too-No! Wait!

     Ford Ronocrodierf, yes, now send toot

130. Peak: landlord repaired decades of water damage in the lobby and sanded the black front door down to the quite nice wood

     Pit: then they ruined it all with a new gross color scheme that is heck of ugly

     

     

131. Huge if true.

     

132. Oops, the 12MB gif upload must’ve pooped out. The 1.2MB mp4 doesn’t seem to have.

133. I made this animation yesterday of DSA SF’s 2018 Steering Committee Election Scottish single transferrable vote tally, animated on our election platform ( http://gitlab.com/DSASanFrancisco/membership_ui), recorded with the Giphy app for OSX.

134. https://www.sfchronicle.com/bayarea/article/After-business-groups-comes-out-against-new-tax-13142490.php

     === capitalists ===

     [waves a magic wand]

135. First post do-over.

     

136. https://www.rightprioritywrongapproach.org lmfao