If i ever type more than three sentences without a typo or misspelling know that I’m dead and have been replaced by a sinister force (T-1000, Agent Smith, etc) and you should try to find what can stop me immediately

Guy in a US Army dress officer’s uniform with two kids under 10 ordered a bunch of stuff to go including “just a plain cheeseburger,” which was my order as a kid, so I definitely smashed that PLAIN touchscreen button

I give him his drinks and bag and he splits

he leaves the store, i take another order or two, he comes bag into the store, and from the door, throws the cheeseburger at me, it bounces off my chest and hits the floor

“What the hell is this? I ordered a plain cheeseburger!”

if mcdonalds workers were police, I could have unholstered my service weapon and pumped a few rounds into the guy, the person entering the store behind him, whatever

working at mcdonalds is hard, my mission was to sell cheeseburgers and this guy was throwing em back!

One time like 15 years ago I asked the noc operator who operated hp openview to help me install and configure openview on my linux servers and they inter-officed me half a ream of paper of openview documentation, printed, and closed my ticket having done nothing else

Cops carry sudo rm -fr / to every call because hackers have sudo rm -fr /

the thin phosphor line

it’s the second week of rookie school, and all the recruits are practicing on paper computers with real keyboards so that they don’t typo rm in an computer emergency situation

they have to re-certify every year

some cops are ok with the basic apple or dell keyboards they are issued at the academy, the r and m keys work fine on them, but more often they buy their own buckling spring keyboards like the Model M

Well, their in their linkedin photo they are smiling so that means they are still liking the job there

If i were leaving SFO i would have simply taken a taxi from the taxi stand

They call me the ‘tot lot tagger’

What?

Being up at 5 and having a kid who must be held to the window to watch and wave at the @RecologySF@twitter.com workers emptying the bins on our one way street means I also get to watch people in cars behind the truck select honk from the list of things they could do while behind said truck

I keep calling this suck wire “pick up”, like i’m working with rubber sement and as if “suck wire” wasn’t a great name