Choose Your Own Adventure
You got a nice big head of garlic on the cutting board. You’ve mastered Jacques Pépin’s method of how to chop garlic and cracked that head open with one perfectly placed push on the board.
To fuck with peeling the little tiny cloves in the center, turn to page 64.
To not fuck with those little tiny cloves and just compost them immediately, turn to page 12.
[turns to page 64]: You dolt. You have done died.
Dad’s burdens I’ve shouldered over paternity leave:
✅ Repaired the screen in the kitchen window.
✅ Moved stuff around in the garage
✅ Made a new pair of jorts
❌ Relived 90s rock
Every get out the vote take flabbergasted that young people in America don’t see the point is victim blaming.
Invisible Baby
Ah, the ol’ Landlord’s “Do you have a minute?” snipe hunt. Love that our living situation is at the mercy of a rent seeker, it is good as hell.
Well now that Sears is daed, I guess here’s a thread all about how I single handedly saved the famed “Wish Book” Christmas catalog when I worked there in Accounts Payables (2/2004-5/2004) from the phony dunces who mixed Marvel and DC onesies as if that was OK. 1/1890
“Wow this guy doesn’t give a FUCK. And he has a beard already!” – An eleven year old who is still getting the hang of things, also proud boys (lol, I will never ever ever title case that), apparently?
JACK: Marc I want to ADDRESS this issue.
[BENIOFF nods]
You KNOW I am sensitive to the Homeless
BENIOFF: Absolutely
JACK: BUT!
Kill Mother Fucking Diode Motes
