[keynote speaker at the big annual laundry basket engineering conference podium joking to a slide of a top view plan of a standard basket with red dots all over the handles.]

[next slide]

next up is a slide with a table on it titled “Mean time to handle failure for handles 1, 2, 3, and 4 for rectangular baskets produced in 2024” with a little side diagram explaining for first timers that these are the top, right, bottom, and left handles in standard orientation. the speaker continues…