For Halloween I borrowed some candy from a neighbor. See, I was counting on nobody liking the candy by the end of the night, so by borrowing it instead of wearing a great costume and earning it up front, I was going to make out like a bandit. I didn’t even say trick or treat to my neighbor!

“I’ll be back in costume at the end of the evening to say trick or treat and my costume will be cool enough to justify your lending to me this bunch of candy now. This is some great candy, I’ll probably come back as a fully mechanized T. Rex on stilts or something.”

I gave out the candy all night to people wearing really good costumes. I mean full face-paint zombies with fake broken-arms, and kick-ass home made impressions of characters from my favorite movies, and cute kids in animal suits, not those cheap rubber face masks and cartoon-character store-bought kits.

“Trick or treat!”

“I love your costume! You are going to love this candy!”

I was giving the stuff away by the fist full.

Then as the night wore down, I went back to the people I got the candy from, and I had on one of those crappy store-bought costumes.

“Your candy is crap and every kid knows it. Across the neighborhood, little plastic pumpkins and pillow-cases are being dumped and sorted, and the candy we gave out will be first up for trade tomorrow in the cafeteria, after apples and ziplock bags of popcorn.”

“So? Are you seriously wearing just a Scary Movie mask and the same clothes you wore all day? What happened to the dinosaur rig?”

“Yes, you see, I’ve shorted on you. I knew this candy was crap, and I got the value of seeing some amazing costumes tonight in exchange for your candy, because they didn’t think it was crap, but now the consensus is that it’s crap.”

“…”

“Trick or treat, sucker.”