The 2004 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

Contestants tried to write the worst opening sentence to a novel they could muster.

Winner for Detective Fiction:

Detective Micky Blarke arrived on the scene at 2:14 am, and gave his cigarette such a severe pull that rookie Paul Simmons swore the insides of the detective’s cheeks touched, but the judge indicated that that amount of detail was not necessary in his testimony, and instructed the jury to disregard that statement.

They are all so good, I don’t know how winners were picked.