RT @rudeasHECK: Presumably if you read both these books you have the sum of all human knowledge http://t.co/fLkUAFRV3Z

SCENE III
Lunch

A:
”You hear so-and-so quit?”

B:
“I didn’t. But they LinkedIn connected with me, so.”

A:
“Ah, me too, duh.”

B:
“Yeah.”

I march straight into that RapiScan nudie-booth. It’s the shoes-and-laptops-and-belts hassle I hate.

idgaf ‘bout TSA X-Ray Specs.

Since everyone always volunteers their opinion about them literally every time they fly, on the internet (“online”, lol), to all of us:

SCENE III
Lunch

A:
”You hear so-and-so quit?”

B:
“I didn’t. But they LinkedIn connected with me, so.”

A:
“Ah, me too, duh.”

B:
“Yeah.”

@Centurion woulda been funnier if you’d used ‘its’ instead of ‘it’s’.

RT @nostrich: Wow, you’re a humorless asshole that hates April Fools Day too? Do you have an OkCupid account?

RT @AustinCarr: Zynga employee traumatized by Mark Pincus prank: “We all said, ‘That’s enough–we don’t want the clowns!’” http://t.co/X …

“But there are people who just can’t believe they can bring their dogs in, and there are others that feel put upon."

“I don’t know where they came from. They were incredibly disruptive.”