Figure 1. A map of California. The path of a five and three quarters mile (nine and a quarter kilometer) hike is indicated. About 177 feet (54 meters) elevation over two and a quarter hours, (two hours moving).
Figure 1. mirrored image from https://66.media.tumblr.com/b31a703b7c6b2e29b7ebca1df8c692a0/tumblr_owpvtdrwAE1r064gzo1_1280.jpg without alt text, sorry.
ANNOUNCING THE 2018 SOCIAL JUSTICE KITTENS CALENDAR
Are you absolutely DONE instructing people who should just shut up and listen? Are you tired of tolerating the intolerant? Are you sick of compromising with those who can’t grasp nonbinary concepts? You’re in luck, because the Social Justice Kittens are back and better than ever!
LiarTown is proud to once again celebrate those courageous soldiers on the front lines of change: Online social justice activists! Although the last calendar’s kittens were unwilling to fully unpack their own complicity in oppressive systems and were taken away one night to live with loving families down by the river, you can be sure THIS YEAR’S precious angels are smarter, cuter, and ohhhhh-so-much woker than ever before!
Each colorful, professionally photographed kitten has been captured in a heroic pose befitting a small cat defiantly speaking out on the hottest progressive issues of the day. A sassy, uncompromising declaration erases any doubts about each charmer’s passionate convictions, sense of humor, and tough-as-nails attitude! They’ve come to punch Nazis and eat wet food, and they’re all out of wet food!
Wait—there’s more!
As a life-changing bonus, each month also features the ALL NEW Social Justice Puppies! They’re still learning how to sit down, shut up, and stay in their lane, but don’t worry, these sad little pups know better than to expect a cookie. They’re bursting with enthusiastic self-negation and eager to demonstrate their public, unconditional agreement. Best of all, every bit of kitten and puppy dialogue originates from genuine social media posts!
To be clear: This is a real, glossy, full-color, 12” x 12” grid-style wall calendar, ready to order NOW and shipping immediately. The last kitten calendar sold out before New Year’s, so act quickly to make sure others will have no reason to doubt your unwavering support of these powerful messages.
Jezebel.com said it best: “The absolute best cat calendar!” While this comment technically referred to the 2015 calendar, anything short of equal enthusiasm this year would be a disturbing sign that Jezebel.com is staffed with privileged, performative faux-allies, uninterested in any sort of true social justice and in fact actively working to maintain the status quo.
Remember—Now that you’re woke, it’s time for the hard part: Making sure others know it!
