[megaphone trigger-pull] “uh, table ready for uh, Bernham Sickie? Bernham Sickie, your table is ready?”

quitting drinking liquids of any kind by committing to exclusively using paper straws, to which a slow and agonizing death is preferable

hi marshal law, I’m dad

HIGHLY SERIOUS COMMUNIST: Mastodon is not your friend. It is not a hobby. Mastodon is not fun, it is not “better” than what we have now, and it is not something to make light of. A close reading of the texts confirms this.

ME: this sounds great,

(@Good_Guy69@twitter.com) September 19, 2018

one need not imagine the itsy bitsy spider happy