I am also brilliant, if you ask me.

ever since chesa was recalled, the fruit fly cloud surrounding my building’s compost and trash bins where i hang out has been out of control, this happening to anyone else? im thinking about getting one of these hats with a fan in the brim, idk what else to do at this point

unpopular opinions but:

🙅🏽 knock me down

🙅🏽 step in my face

🙅🏽 slander my name all over the place

🙅🏽 burn my house

🙅🏽 steal my car

🙅🏽 drink my liquor from an old fruit-jar

45 minutes later, all knives, peelers, openers, and scrappers down!

i’ve started taking the whole board out on the patio and cutting just the onions plein air, no tears 🥲

🔪🔪🔪