OH “You only YOLO once.”
posts from 2013 / 05
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“Cyber Clerks”
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well that was unexpected
how rude.
Well
oh
oops
May 31st, 2013 8:43am
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CYBER CLERKS
Another CUSTOMER leans in.
CUSTOMER: Are you open?
DANTE: (rolls his eyes) Yes.
RANDAL: You know what? I don’t think I care for you rationale.
DANTE: It’s going to have to do for now, considering that it’s my laptop that’s up for request. (to CUSTOMER) Can I help you?
CUSTOMER: Pack of cigarettes.
RANDAL: What’s your point?
DANTE: My point is that you’re a clerk, paid to do a job. You can’t just do anything you want while you’re working.
CUSTOMER: (reading a security blog) “The next threat to the cloud and what CISSPs are doing about it; Cyber security funding up.” (to DANTE and RANDAL) They hype any kind of buzzwords in these things.
DANTE: They certainly do. Two fifty-five.
RANDAL: So your argument is that title dictates behavior?
DANTE: What?
RANDAL: The reasons you won’t let me borrow your laptop is because I have a title and a job description, and I’m supposed to follow it, right?
DANTE: Exactly.
CUSTOMER: (interjecting) I saw one, one time online, that said Chinese APT had hacked american defense contractors. Then in the next week’s post, they said the NSA was hiring security defenders but only to man Einstein consoles. APT? Cloud? What does that shit even mean?
RANDAL: (eyes the CUSTOMER, annoyed) So I’m no more responsible for my own decisions while I’m here at work than, say, the Death Squad soldiers in Bosnia?
DANTE: That’s stretching it. You’re not being asked to slay children or anything.
RANDAL: Not yet.
RANDAL: (sips water)
CUSTOMER: (again with the interjections) And I remember this one time at DEFCON this Fed was giving a talk about…
RANDAL spits a mist of water at the customer, drenching him. The man reacts violently, attempting to grab RANDAL from over the counter. RANDAL makes no move, but remains untouched. DANTE plays block.
CUSTOMER: I’M GONNA DOX YOUR FUCKING ASS! YOU FUCKING LAMER!
DANTE: Sir! Sir, I’m sorry! He didn’t mean it! He was trying to get me.
CUSTOMER: Well, he missed!
DANTE: I know. I’m sorry. Let me refund your cigarette money, and we’ll call it even.
CUSTOMER: (considerably calmer; takes money) This is the last time I ever come here. (to RANDAL) And if I ever see you again, I’m gonna rm your fucking shit!
The CUSTOMER leaves, wiping water from his face. RANDAL salutes him.
DANTE: (angrily) What the fuck did you do that for?
RANDAL: Two reasons: one, I hate when the people can’t shut up about the jargon that people in the military use.
DANTE: Jesus!
RANDAL: And two, to make a point: title does not dictate behavior.May 31st, 2013 8:14am
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RT @evgenymorozov: Who will make a good Secretary of Disruption in the Obama administration?
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“Cyber Clerks”
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The best kinda commute.
(just posted the same via flickr app for iOS and facebook seems to have clawed it back. jerks.)
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@doeg RIP, RIP.
smh Damien Marley. smdh.
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RT @scarybeasts: When lives are on the line, an accelerated response is IMHO a reasonable ask: http://t.co/hiihS7hBvT
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OH “My userland is a temple.”
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@grahamvsworld “OK if you’re REALY a Nigerian Prince, please kindly video yourself holding this sign. My bank account routing number is be—
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@richtener ATDTW
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@doeg @grahamvsworld @vogon as a weekly EBS diner, you’ve got me worried I’ll have to MUNI to EF instead of walking half a block.
Damnit.
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Also dudes and dudettes: kairos is a helluva a drug.
Helluva a drug.
Helluva.
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Welp, my cat, The Boy, and I, just found that he likes to eat raw peas out of the pod.
Gonna be green puke everywhere in T-minus 5, 4, 3, 2
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Also dudes and dudettes: kairos is a helluva a drug.
Helluva a drug.
Helluva.
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Welp, my cat, The Boy, and I, just found that he likes to eat raw peas out of the pod.
Gonna be green puke everywhere in T-minus 5, 4, 3, 2
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“An salaried adult’s modal dialog about data loss.”, shit on Android, artist unknown. 2010. http://t.co/LrgZD6L1NT
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“A salaried adult’s modal dialog about data loss.”, shit on Android, artist unknown. 2010. on Flickr.
May 26th, 2013 6:05pm
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The great schism is reconciled: Amanda Walker Stavely now has a stevePhone (pbuh). The “a linux” phone will become my burner.
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H2O: SUPER SESSIONABLE! http://t.co/ZX0jGt7XpM
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Drake’s First Annual NorCal Session Beer Festival in San Leandro is legit.
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@doeg http://t.co/73TP82mS68 in Potrero Hill is nice. There is no sushi in the mission. If you insist: Blowfish, sit at the bar.
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★★★★★
United States of Audio’s celebration of De La Soul’s ‘3 Feet High and Rising’.Find out what it all means: http://t.co/o3zAzmrmSH
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RT @Remiel: My review of Star Trek Into Darkness (subtitle: Yes We Really Called It That): http://t.co/MPv2drPrss
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RT @DCoffeen: Few things are as banal as contentious argument.
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Cognitive dissonance: “I just left you a voicemail” opener and “This e-mail is intended for the… individual…to whom it is addressed” footer.
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@mckt_ just the new stuff?
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Vulnerability Management
- Document how to butter one side of a piece of bread and strap it a computer.
- Deliver document to ops team.
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brew remove fishfish; brew install fish;
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2046 CE
ECU AEROTRIM, HUMAN OCCUPANT
INT. REALTOR’s VIRTUAL OFFICE
An estate agent sub-vocally navigates a gallery of 320x200vpx images. -
“Neo-Anti-Skeumorphicism”
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“The Uncanny Valley of Buttons”
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Excuse me.
Yes, I would like to register my indignation with minimalist, flat UI design in the national registry.
Yes, I’ll wait.
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2046 CE
ECU AEROTRIM, HUMAN OCCUPANT
INT. REALTOR’s VIRTUAL OFFICE
An estate agent sub-vocally navigates a gallery of 320x200vpx images. -
“The Uncanny Valley of Buttons”
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“Neo-Anti-Skeumorphicism”
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Excuse me.
Yes, I would like to register my indignation with minimalist, flat UI design in the national registry.
Yes, I’ll wait.
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Almost creamed by a moped making a right across the bike lane, bucked the back wheel up a foor or so but landed and righted it, look over to say “that was close!” to a cyclist next to me, and the dude is wearing headphones.
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Click click click click click click.
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The everloving wife threw last weekend’s perfectly fine leftover brats out. Never again! http://t.co/WDHWMdNaMH
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The everloving wife threw last weekend’s perfectly fine leftover brats out. Never again! on Flickr.
May 18th, 2013 1:28pm
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kottke.org: Mat Honan visits Google Island
May 18th, 2013 11:38am
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New favorite sketch show.
Peter Serafinowicz is brilliant
May 18th, 2013 11:18am
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It is pataphysically awesome that literally THE first blurb was meta snark: http://t.co/qgV99QqMTA
R.I.P. Gelette Burgess.
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“Spaulding! Get your foot off the boat!”
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RT @aplura: Slides posted (http://t.co/aHdeoxL6Fk) from our talk at SplunkLiveDC yesterday on security analytics.
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The Mini Enamel Animal! http://t.co/1Q4lNWR7L9
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EMERGENCY ACCREDITATION, CERTIFICATION, GUILD, UNION, BACHELOR’S, MASTER’S, G.E.D, HOW-TO-GET-STARTED, & HOW-TO-DO-WHAT-I-DID CHAT EXIT.
🚪
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@Ourstartup @Stav22 @zynga glad y’all had fun, you’re welcome back any time. Enjoy you’re week in San Francisco!
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@grahamvsworld I got a .22 cricket for my birthday when I turned 8 or 9, I don’t remember.
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Kid in the back of an empty bus beat boxing, clapping, and stomping his feet.
MUNI Driver: “Young man! You are not at home!”
Silence.
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RT @mcsweeneys: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and Hall and Oates: http://t.co/qZSwqqB5pv
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derp
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RT @dril: to everyone talking shit about my fine motor skills: *gives the Finger, checks to see if correct finger is extended, it isn’t, tr…
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In a World,
Where Elbow Grease Is Not Enough.
One Man, One Oven:
CLEAN CYCLE
Will San Francisco Burn?
…In Theaters
[oven timer: 02:23]
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David Bowie disapproves of this bendy-straw. http://t.co/Xr6BrYfK9u
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Every time I wear this shirt, the intro to the mix happens to me.
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/Nice!/
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We’re looking at Wayne Thiebaud’s iconic Three Machines in today’s Conversations with Colin.
This painting is currently on view in Wilsey Court!
Easily my favorite work in the De Young.
Favorite.
May 9th, 2013 9:11pm
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𝄞 ♩ ♩ ♩♩ ♩ ♩ ♫ 𝄇
“Owner of a Lonely Ticket“ -
Neat password meter paper. The fallacy of account importance is underplayed.
FD: Me, now: http://t.co/yjMYRmRmZU
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RT @tef: fartscroll.js http://t.co/tmyoVW2OTD
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Jorge Luis Borges quoted on page 2 of the NSA’s Unclassified ÜÑTÅÑG£ÌÑG THË ẆË𝞫? OK, you have my attention pal.
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Ninkasi’s “Allies Win The War” Strong Ale: wewt!
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RT @Horse_ebooks: Grant
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Fiber to the curb soon, and a new thing for folks in the Mission to use as a toilet. Thanks AT&T! http://t.co/fOOpyeZr8j
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Fiber to the curb soon, and a new thing for folks in the Mission to use as a toilet. Thanks AT&T! on Flickr.
May 6th, 2013 7:18pm
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In businessman’s cant, “as well as” is just “and, uh, ” wearing a three piece suit and a monocle.
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Is “never click” bad advice or the worst advice someone could give? I can’t decide.
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On 18th Street because the line is around the block for the San Francisco Film Festival.
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Grandma just got stuck in a freaked out ball of stupid because her front claw was stuck in her own tail and she was unable to rescue herself. I don’t even.
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RT @cognitarian: On Taxonomy of Atheists - http://t.co/k1q0kl96OC
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Jeans of Theseus™
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Ordered a 9.2 Gal. Brew Kettle with Sight Glass, Tangential Inlet & Thermowell. \m/
What should I make to christen it?
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Jeans of Theseus™
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RT @grahamvsworld: http://t.co/xnqNrPpLRX releases soon. The internal beta has been a blast. Really looking forward to it coming out.
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I woulda got a 4-F in the cat ownership draft cause I’ve got soft feet and’m prone to whisker and fur splinters, but I lied to the doc.
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It’s so precious when sites and apps bind ‘j’ down and ‘k’ up but not ‘h’ left and ‘l’ right or ‘G’ to the end and ‘gg’ to the beginning an—
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You can take Jimmy outta the circus unicycle troupe but you can’t take the circus outta Jimmy. http://t.co/ahBNO9Vavx
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You can take Jimmy outta the circus unicycle troupe but you can’t take the circus outta Jimmy. on Flickr.
May 2nd, 2013 12:27pm
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I’ve got Free Incident Codenames for you.
For you!
Free Codenames!
DM me your incident!
I’ll DM you a name!
They’re Free Codenames™ 😉
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The Fridge
why shoudnt you go to the fridge without permition
because it will come for its revenge
May 2nd, 2013 12:04am
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Bahn Mi social visit.
Sorry I ate what they gave me. It was real good.
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@grahamvsworld @alexhutton Figure 1. Acute Mountain Sickness plot of climbers (y) by altitude (x) and temperature (z).
Or, A barf plot.
