unpopular opinions but:
🙅🏽 knock me down
🙅🏽 step in my face
🙅🏽 slander my name all over the place
🙅🏽 burn my house
🙅🏽 steal my car
🙅🏽 drink my liquor from an old fruit-jar
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45 minutes later, all knives, peelers, openers, and scrappers down!
i’ve started taking the whole board out on the patio and cutting just the onions plein air, no tears 🥲
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🔪🔪🔪
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rly hits different when it’s 👏🏼 i n g o, 👏🏼 i n g o, 👏🏼 i n g o, and bingo was his name-o
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tore out the previous owner’s home alarm system so if anyone wants to B&E, it won’t be loud. please finish my spackling n’ painting, thanks in advance (i hate finish work)
always been p convinced that home alarm systems are scams, only bits of old This Old House I skip through
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I Voted! 🇺🇸
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Tue: kid exposed to asymptomatic peer at school
Wed: kid gets first dose of moderna
Thurs: kid plays hooky and enjoys going to the carnival w/ a friend
Fri: contact traced re: tuesday
Sat: spikes a 102F, friend also spikes
Sun: weird cough
Mon: Fever + cough
me: lol (so far) 🤗
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protein-pickeld peterson posted a pathetic pinstriped probation a’ppeal
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people think they have large families but my aunt had to use a form letter to mail all of my cousins checks to close out an old college fund account form the 80s, and my dad’s side of the family is even bigger. yes, catholic, no not me 😈
