Joe Biden strings words together like Porky Pig moonwalks

I’m going to practice my patronizing false-excitement voice, if it’s anything like my false-Robert-Plant singing you are all doomed

Keg empty, enjoying a dirty martini w/ VP debate game, worried I’ll run out of Gin and vermouth, only have a full bottle each. Cheers!

Public Television: HD, full screen, no analyst chart-chunk, no animations

@commonwombat I haven’t blinked in the 40 minutes since you tapped me for B.S. '08 - bring on the cat jokes & @shmausen impersonations SNL!

I’ve talked to people in Sweden and Israel today on the phone today. Quick somebody tap me to be their Vice Presidential nominee!

Next time I’m a high school student playing in a rock band, we are totally going to cover Bubble Puppy’s ♬ Hot Smoke and Sassafrass ♬

Sips tonight for every GOP ‘ya’ and Dem ‘change’. Chug for ‘in what respect’ stalling. Socials for eye-rolling. Call out sick on Friday.

@thefrontrowe is to @BaltimoreMD as Clark Kent is to… Lois or Superman? I think Lois.

@charmsec is halfway down the bar, look for the bald guy (@philip_daigle) and the figlet sign on our table