---
title: Scream Like a Man
tags: posts
date: 2010-03-20 11:28:00.00 -8
---
### Text Adventures

You see an article or a twitter toot or whatever.

`read the thing`
 
You see a link that looks interesting.

`click the link`

You just made be <a href="http://blog.last.fm/2009/02/23/techcrunch-are-full-of-shit">Mike Arrington</a> some cash.

`undo`

I'm sorry, I don't understand "undo"

`damnit`

Swearing won't help. 

### Enough of that

No thanks, right? I mean it's all well and good to just close the tab, of
course, when you go to a site you don't want to work for, but the ads have
already loaded. That's [revenue](http://arstechnica.com/business/news/2010/03/why-ad-blocking-is-devastating-to-the-sites-you-love.ars). Gross.

So I made [this greasemonkey script](/files/scream.user.js) to zap all links
to all the sites I don't want to work for. If it's too late—say
a shortened url tricked me—I'd rather see a [goat scream like
man](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0-lkl9TzsU) than see what a mistake I
just made, so it does that too. You can edit it to do something less drastic
of course, but where's the fun in that?

```js
var url = location.href;
// add all the domains here
var natch = /(DOMAINS YOU WANT TO AVOID GO HERE)\.\w+\//; 

// Serious options
// var ohShit = 'about:blank';
var betterLink = '#';

// Comedy options
var ohShit = 'http://grantstavely.com/evil/';
// var betterLink = ohShit;

// if it's too late
if (url.match(natch)) {
  window.location = ohShit;
}

// if it's not too late
list = document.getElementsByTagName('a');
for (i=0; i<list.length; i++) {
  if (list[i].href.match(natch)) {
    var scream = document.createElement('a');
    scream.setAttribute('href', betterLink);
    scream.innerHTML = list[i].innerHTML + "<sup>✌</sup>";
    list[i].parentNode.replaceChild(scream, list[i]);
  }
}
```
Run that against the entire web and it turns nasty links into neuters, and
adds ✌ to them so that it's obvious.

Well, _I_ think it's fun.

### [Install the greasemonkey script](/files/scream.user.js)

[(You need greasemonkey for it to work)](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greasemonkey)